For us Friday the 13th turned out to be a great day. We finally made it home on Friday, May 13. My parents brought the dogs home and they were unsure what to think at first. They were like what the heck is going on but after a few days they settled down and now always check on Colton while he is sleeping. It's pretty sweet to watch them be a little protective over him.
Brian's work let FMLA cover the two weeks that Colton was in the NICU; so our first week home he was able to take a week vacation and be home with Colton and I. That first weekend was a dramatic nightmare for me. I was so tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed and everyone in the world wanted to come over to see Colton. When Sunday night rolled around I lost it. After a house full of people left I started crying and could not stop. Poor Brian, I don't think he knew what to do. He knew I had hit a brick wall so he just hugged me while I cried it out. Since then I've tried to manage the visits with telling times they can come over.
Colton had a dr appointment that Monday morning with the pediatrician. His lungs and heart sounded good and healthy thankfully. When Colton left the NICU on Friday he was back up to his birth weight, 6 lbs 13 oz and at this appointment (3 days later) he weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. We were happy to see that after our stressful weekend, Colton handled it well and was moving in the right direction. We really like our pediatrician. We selected him with the help of Pat (our caretaker for Colton when I go back to work). We learned that one of the NICU nurses uses him for her son, our neighbor uses him and one of our friends uses him for their twins. And they are all spread out over the midcities area and are willing to drive to Hurst for Dr. Deitchman. It's always nice to know others have had good experiences and recommend the dr you randomly selected to use! Since Colton was given a good bill of health, he doesn't have to go back until he is 2 months. I think Dr. D could see the worry in my eyes so he again went over everything with me and reminded me that if I ever have any concerns, their phones are answered 24 hours a day. He is part of cook children's and is officed right next door to the new hospital location in Hurst. After many questions and answers, I felt assured and okay with Colton going till 2 months before being seen again.
I then had my c-section 2 week follow up that afternoon. My incision was healing very well. I was back down to my pre-pregnancy weight already. I can assure you this was not from trying to get there...it's all because of the pumping breastmilk that I am doing. But I certainly don't have the pre-pregnancy body back yet. It has a ways to go in regards to getting back in shape. Dr. Walter's asked what all I do in the gym and when I told her she said, "well lets just start with walking for now." I think she was afraid I would over do it in the gym, lol. She was glad to see Colton was out of the NICU and with us. After a few laughs like we usually have with her, we were on our way home. My next appointment is at the 6 week mark which will be on June 13. She said then we will talk about me working out and birth control. I have to say that the c-section was not bad at all. It was completely the opposite from the horror stories I had heard. I didn't have much pain, was able to hold Colton right after he was born while the dr's were sewing me back up, and had hour recovery with him till it was decided to move him to the NICU. If we decide to have any more babies, I would definitely be up for a c-section again.
The rest of the week went great. Since Brian was home, we had a chance to be together and settle in. You know, figure it all out together. It was really nice that he was able to be home. Since Colton was on a 3 hour feeding schedule in the NICU we kept it and are using it. I planned to use the Babywise system which incorporates a feeding schedule like that so it worked perfectly. In fact, I had it easy because I didn't have to work on getting Colton on a schedule. All I had to start doing was working on his awake time after he ate. He was on a 9, 12, 3, and 6 schedule but just this last week we have moved it to 7, 10, 1, 4 schedule. It seems to work better for us. We start our day at 7am and his last feeding is 10pm. We then let him sleep till he wakes up wanting to eat. He usually wakes anywhere between 3 and 4am and then I have to wake him up at 7 to eat again. With this I am able to get good sleep and feel great during the day. According to the book and other friend testimonies, around 6 to 8 weeks Colton should start sleeping through that middle of night feeding which will be nice for when I go back to work.
That next weekend we had someone come to the house and take newborn pictures. Colton did really well for her. We were concerned since he was tad older that he wouldn't sleep well but she managed to get some good pictures. She had a lot of patience with Colton!! The pictures turned out great! And it was Brian's 40th birthday so we had our first outing that Saturday evening. We took Colton by the church to meet everyone there and thank them in person for all their prayers. We then headed over to Rio Mambo for Brian's birthday dinner party. Several of our friends meet us there to meet Colton and help Brian bring in 40. It was a big night for me with taking Colton out and about like that. I made everyone sanitize their hands before touching Colton, lol. I'm slowing getting more laxed on that but you know after 12 days in the NICU, you become a bit over bearing and paranoid. But the night was successful. Brian had a good time and I managed to not have a breakdown like I did the weekend before.
Brian has since gone back to work. His first week back was welcomed with being on call. And I was welcomed to being home basically alone all week and to weather those crazy storms we had by myself. I'm not a big fan of tornado type weather with having a baby and two dogs to worry about. Poor Brian has had to work nonstop the entire week. And because it was a holiday weekend (memorial day), he had to remain oncall through today, Tuesday. I am very happy that he is off call today as I'm sure he is too.
Colton has been doing great. This last week we had a few days of fussiness. For about 3 days I was ready to pull my hair out. I couldn't seem to make him happy. I tried all the usual things to check, like did he have to burp, did he have a dirty diaper, was he hungry, did he just want to be held, etc. I first thought he was extremely gassy so we tried the mylicon for gas relief. I've even cut out most dairy and chocolate from my diet in case it was those two things. I then realized it was because we hadn't been swaddling him. He had been getting stronger and escaping from it so we thought that he really didn't like it. So the last several days we just wrapped him lightly with his arms out. He seemed okay with it. He was sleeping and seemed happy for a while till I guess he finally had enough of it. Apparently it overstimulated him because as soon as I swaddled him tight again he was happy as can be. Miracle cure!! It is hard though to get him swaddled tight because he has a lot of strength in those arms. I'm going to try a few of those blankets that make swaddling easy and see if that helps. I've also ventured out with him by myself. I've met friends for lunch, been to dinner with my mom, visited a friend on bedrest in the hospital, and even had a successful shopping trip to Target. I'm slowly getting used to and being comfortable with taking him out and about.
Time is flying by so fast. Yesterday started Colton's 5th week of life. I don't want him to grow up. I love all his little coo noises, his smiles, and how he lays his head on my shoulder & wraps his arms around my neck when we have what I call mommy time. I know we have many more fun times ahead but man I really enjoy this stage. It's a feeling I cannot explain. My maternity leave is almost half way over and I am so sad!!! I can already tell you that I am not going to want to go back to work. But I will have no choice and shall survive (since I have to). One thing I know for sure is that I love be a mommy!!!!!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Colton's 1st Week
Colton Keith Plemons was born on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 9:27am. He weighed 6 lbs, 13 oz and is 20 inches long. He is such a handsome guy. He was born with a full head of dark hair, a beautiful color, and has his daddy's big feet and weird toes, lol. We love him to pieces. He is our angel sent from heaven!!
The c-section went great. Once the process started, it only took 5 minutes for Colton to be born. During his grand entrance, he tried crying before being all the way out and swallowed some amniotic fluid. We could hear Dr. Walter's saying hang on little guy, don't cry yet, lol. Then the next thing we know he is being held over the drape and looking down at us. He was the most beautiful sight we've ever seen. They took him across the room to clean him up and weigh him. Brian got to take pictures while they were doing that. Then they brought him over to me and laid him on my chest while the dr's were finishing up on my stomach. We were in recovery at approximately 10am.
We stayed in recovery for about an hour and half. We had some good skin to skin time and then we tried to breast feed. He would latch on but not suck. He kept doing a grunting noise and the nurse was a bit concerned about it. So she would try to upset him and get him to cry. He'd cry but not the full lung actioned cry that they wanted to hear. So they decided to put him in NICU for about 4 to 6 hours to help him transition (womb to the world). They said that during a vaginal delivery, while in labor and the baby is traveling in the birth canal, their body is given signals from the labor to start flushing the fluids in their bodies to prepare for birth. So with a c-section, the baby's body doesn't get those signals and are born with extra fluid in their systems and lungs. Plus he swallowed extra amniotic fluids during birth when he tried crying. So we agreed that putting him in the NICU for a few hours is a good idea. I was taken to the room so our visitors can see us. Brian was able to take everyone one at a time to the NICU to meet and see Colton. During the day, they did an xray to see just how much fluid Colton had in his lungs and the determined that he had a bit more than anticipated and would probably need 48 to 72 hours for the fluids to dry out. That was hard news for me because I haven't seen him at all at this point since we were in the recovery room. Finally at 8pm I was taken to see him. Everything was looking good. They had him on the oxygen nostril things to help dry out his lungs and make sure he was maintaining good oxygen in his blood. That had to remain at a 92 or above. All was good, he was maintaining the levels he needed so they let me hold him. Thats when the NICU nurses took a picture of the three of us and printed it out for us. It was our first family photo. We left thinking that he would more than likely be moved to our room that next morning.
Bad news coming: Around 3:30am, we received a phone call from the NICU. Colton had apparently developed a tear in his lung causing his lung to collapse. They needed to put him in an oxygen bin so that the increased oxygen can help heal the tear. We asked if we could see him. They suggested we wait about an hour because they were working to get him calm and relaxed while under the oxygen bin. We waited an hour and went to go see our little guy. We asked how this happened. They said that it can just happen. They believe that Colton's lungs are about two weeks behind the rest of his body. The lungs appeared to be acting as if they were 36 weeks. They are sticking together rather than staying apart and having to work extra hard to breathe thus causing a tear.
More bad news coming: We finally got in to see him and they were trying to determine how to remove the air that has leaked in from the tear. Normally they would insert a tube but they didn't want to do that in his case. They told us the tear was in his left lung which is the same side of the heart. They were afraid to use a pump in fear they could nick the heart or something like that. So they decided to eliminate the air by a needle and hoped that the tear was healing so that more air didn't leak in. Finding out that it was his left side instead of the right side opened another door of tears for us. We have now gone to a week or longer of potentially being in the NICU.
Worst news coming: We spent Tuesday afternoon in tears and fear. The dr came in to give us an update. Colton has been diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension. Basically it stemed back to his lungs. From what I understood, his blood pressure was unbalanced in his lungs which causes an unbalance within the heart. One side of the heart has to work harder and causes that side of the heart to enlarge. He has been deemed very sick and in critical condition. She said the fact that he is considered a full term baby gives him great odds and is confident he will be okay. He should be able to withstand the treatments they needed to do more than a premie baby would be able to. They needed to insert a ventilator and warned us that it could harm the tear in his lung. He will also being getting several iv inserts and to prepare him being all wired up. They also are putting a lamp on him to help treat a mild case of jaundice. This was the least of our worries as many babies develop jaundice and is not critical. We are now looking at ???? of how long he will be in the NICU. As they day went on, we learned the tear on his lung was unaffected and healing just fine. (Finally a bit of good news!!) But then a nurse came in shortly thereafter, asking us to sign a form granting permission to give Colton a blood transfusion. They've been taking so much blood for lab work that his little body just can't reproduce enough blood fast enough and they want to make sure that he has enough blood to keep his body strong. So of course we gave permission. That evening they allowed me to wrap a blanket around me for a while and then placed it around him to sleep in. Besides, pumping like a mad women and storing milk for when he gets to eat, it was all I had to hold onto in a form of trying to help him. You feel so helpless and like your letting them down when they are sick like this. The way I was feeling is something that I cannot be put into words. This was a very scary day!!!
Good news coming: The next morning (Wednesday), they told us that they have actually been able to reduce the amount of antibiotics for his sickness. That was great news because he is starting to be able to maintain some balanced pressure levels himself. Their plan for the day was to let him rest and relax. He had a big day the day before with a lot of poking, xrays, labs, diagnosing, etc. Then that evening, he was close to being completely off the meds. That night we refreshed him with another blanket that I wrapped around my body for a couple of hours.
More good news coming: The next morning (Thursday), he was completely off that medicine. His echocardiogram showed his heart was normal size and working appropriately and his lungs were maintaining a balanced pressure all on their own. It was a shock and surprise to us and the dr's. They were highly impressed with how well he was doing and so quickly. Maybe I'm wrong but I truly believe or want to believe that the blankets helped him feel close to what he knew and that is me. The goal for the day is to continue to get his lungs to mature. He is on steriods for that, a ventilator, oxygen, IV for nutrition, lamp for jaundice, and other things that I'm just not familiar with. They started giving him some breast milk through a line that goes directly into his stomach. It basically builds his stomach up to be able to accept it. Thankfully his body had no problems digesting it. As the day went on, his oxygen levels were slowly coming down and he was picking up breathing more and more over the ventilator. He was being strong and heading in the right direction. I was able to check his temperature, change his diaper and hold his hand for a while. Late the evening and into early, early Friday morning he was maintaining normal levels. Needless to say we went to bed extremely happy that night!
More good news: I should have been released yesterday from the hospital but my dr said that technically with a c-section insurance will pay up to four days so that meant I could be discharged today instead. So I was discharged at 3pm but because the maternity floor had low attendance and empty rooms, they allowed us to stay as a courtesy. Basically we are here but not here. We are on our own for food, my medicine, etc. As long as the room is not needed, we can stay while he is in NICU. They think that we are good through Sunday and maybe possibly Monday. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for this. I prefer being down the hall much more than across town. Friday morning visit we learned he maintained normal levels all night. So we were waiting for his neonatelist specialist to get in and see what she wanted to do. Next thing we knew, she was in our room and giving us an update. They took the ventilator off because his breathing was fantastic and put the nasal thing in to continue oxygen for a bit and then will be taking the oxygen away with leaving only the air pressure for a while. They plan to continue to feed him thru the stomach line today and will be taking another line out of his belly button shortly that was used to draw blood so that he didn't have to be sticked so many times. Once that line comes out, we will be able to hold him. She anticipated that by 3:00 we should be able to hold him. Out came tears of joy and happiness!! I could not wait for 3:00 to get here. When it finally got here and they laid him in my arms I just cried and cried. It was the best feeling in the world. He immediately started turning his head towards me to start rooting. We got good giggles out of that. His feeding times are 9, 12, 3, and 6 so she put some breast milk into his stomach line and within minutes he was smiling and going to sleep. He loves to be swaddled and in mommy's arms. During feeding times I get to also check his temperature and change his diaper. We also introduced the pacifier to him and let me tell you he loves that thing. He never wants to take it out, lol! So needless to say I made every feeding time except for the 3am one. I was convinced that I needed to sleep between the 12 and 6 feeding times. It took some convincing but I finally agreed, lol. He also managed to go all day without oxygen and was only using the air pressure. I guess the pressure is used to remind the baby to breathe...basically it's just part of the weaning process.
Saturday morning, Colton continued to stay off the oxygen all night and maintain good levels. So they took the nasal thing off. They also took one of his iv's out since he no longer needs any meds. He still has an iv in his foot for the fluids they are using to offset the milk amount he is getting. Today we started bottle feeding. They said it may take some time for him to catch on since he didn't get to develop those instincts right after birth. He is doing pretty good with it. He is getting a small amount for now but is able to get is all down with some coaxing. Him loving the pacifier is helping him get it down faster. Tomorrow the milk portions increase which means the iv fluid reduces. And we also have our first breast feeding attempt tomorrow at 3. We gave him a bath and that was fun for me...not so much for him. But after we had him swaddled he was a happy camper. So basically at this point all we are waiting on is the jaundice to away and him eating good. They seem to think about one more day under the jaundice lights and the eating....well that is up to Colton. They will then release him and we spend an overnight here in a room together then go home. We are getting very, very close!!!!
Colton has had many people praying for him. All I can say is thank you! Thank you so much for praying for our little guy. Those prayers cannot be thanked enough. Colton felt the love because he recovered much faster than we all anticipated. Fellowship Church has also been a huge help and pray group for us. My greeter team has been praying like crazy and we have had a few visitors from the pastor group come here to pray with us in our room.
The c-section went great. Once the process started, it only took 5 minutes for Colton to be born. During his grand entrance, he tried crying before being all the way out and swallowed some amniotic fluid. We could hear Dr. Walter's saying hang on little guy, don't cry yet, lol. Then the next thing we know he is being held over the drape and looking down at us. He was the most beautiful sight we've ever seen. They took him across the room to clean him up and weigh him. Brian got to take pictures while they were doing that. Then they brought him over to me and laid him on my chest while the dr's were finishing up on my stomach. We were in recovery at approximately 10am.
We stayed in recovery for about an hour and half. We had some good skin to skin time and then we tried to breast feed. He would latch on but not suck. He kept doing a grunting noise and the nurse was a bit concerned about it. So she would try to upset him and get him to cry. He'd cry but not the full lung actioned cry that they wanted to hear. So they decided to put him in NICU for about 4 to 6 hours to help him transition (womb to the world). They said that during a vaginal delivery, while in labor and the baby is traveling in the birth canal, their body is given signals from the labor to start flushing the fluids in their bodies to prepare for birth. So with a c-section, the baby's body doesn't get those signals and are born with extra fluid in their systems and lungs. Plus he swallowed extra amniotic fluids during birth when he tried crying. So we agreed that putting him in the NICU for a few hours is a good idea. I was taken to the room so our visitors can see us. Brian was able to take everyone one at a time to the NICU to meet and see Colton. During the day, they did an xray to see just how much fluid Colton had in his lungs and the determined that he had a bit more than anticipated and would probably need 48 to 72 hours for the fluids to dry out. That was hard news for me because I haven't seen him at all at this point since we were in the recovery room. Finally at 8pm I was taken to see him. Everything was looking good. They had him on the oxygen nostril things to help dry out his lungs and make sure he was maintaining good oxygen in his blood. That had to remain at a 92 or above. All was good, he was maintaining the levels he needed so they let me hold him. Thats when the NICU nurses took a picture of the three of us and printed it out for us. It was our first family photo. We left thinking that he would more than likely be moved to our room that next morning.
Bad news coming: Around 3:30am, we received a phone call from the NICU. Colton had apparently developed a tear in his lung causing his lung to collapse. They needed to put him in an oxygen bin so that the increased oxygen can help heal the tear. We asked if we could see him. They suggested we wait about an hour because they were working to get him calm and relaxed while under the oxygen bin. We waited an hour and went to go see our little guy. We asked how this happened. They said that it can just happen. They believe that Colton's lungs are about two weeks behind the rest of his body. The lungs appeared to be acting as if they were 36 weeks. They are sticking together rather than staying apart and having to work extra hard to breathe thus causing a tear.
More bad news coming: We finally got in to see him and they were trying to determine how to remove the air that has leaked in from the tear. Normally they would insert a tube but they didn't want to do that in his case. They told us the tear was in his left lung which is the same side of the heart. They were afraid to use a pump in fear they could nick the heart or something like that. So they decided to eliminate the air by a needle and hoped that the tear was healing so that more air didn't leak in. Finding out that it was his left side instead of the right side opened another door of tears for us. We have now gone to a week or longer of potentially being in the NICU.
Worst news coming: We spent Tuesday afternoon in tears and fear. The dr came in to give us an update. Colton has been diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension. Basically it stemed back to his lungs. From what I understood, his blood pressure was unbalanced in his lungs which causes an unbalance within the heart. One side of the heart has to work harder and causes that side of the heart to enlarge. He has been deemed very sick and in critical condition. She said the fact that he is considered a full term baby gives him great odds and is confident he will be okay. He should be able to withstand the treatments they needed to do more than a premie baby would be able to. They needed to insert a ventilator and warned us that it could harm the tear in his lung. He will also being getting several iv inserts and to prepare him being all wired up. They also are putting a lamp on him to help treat a mild case of jaundice. This was the least of our worries as many babies develop jaundice and is not critical. We are now looking at ???? of how long he will be in the NICU. As they day went on, we learned the tear on his lung was unaffected and healing just fine. (Finally a bit of good news!!) But then a nurse came in shortly thereafter, asking us to sign a form granting permission to give Colton a blood transfusion. They've been taking so much blood for lab work that his little body just can't reproduce enough blood fast enough and they want to make sure that he has enough blood to keep his body strong. So of course we gave permission. That evening they allowed me to wrap a blanket around me for a while and then placed it around him to sleep in. Besides, pumping like a mad women and storing milk for when he gets to eat, it was all I had to hold onto in a form of trying to help him. You feel so helpless and like your letting them down when they are sick like this. The way I was feeling is something that I cannot be put into words. This was a very scary day!!!
Good news coming: The next morning (Wednesday), they told us that they have actually been able to reduce the amount of antibiotics for his sickness. That was great news because he is starting to be able to maintain some balanced pressure levels himself. Their plan for the day was to let him rest and relax. He had a big day the day before with a lot of poking, xrays, labs, diagnosing, etc. Then that evening, he was close to being completely off the meds. That night we refreshed him with another blanket that I wrapped around my body for a couple of hours.
More good news coming: The next morning (Thursday), he was completely off that medicine. His echocardiogram showed his heart was normal size and working appropriately and his lungs were maintaining a balanced pressure all on their own. It was a shock and surprise to us and the dr's. They were highly impressed with how well he was doing and so quickly. Maybe I'm wrong but I truly believe or want to believe that the blankets helped him feel close to what he knew and that is me. The goal for the day is to continue to get his lungs to mature. He is on steriods for that, a ventilator, oxygen, IV for nutrition, lamp for jaundice, and other things that I'm just not familiar with. They started giving him some breast milk through a line that goes directly into his stomach. It basically builds his stomach up to be able to accept it. Thankfully his body had no problems digesting it. As the day went on, his oxygen levels were slowly coming down and he was picking up breathing more and more over the ventilator. He was being strong and heading in the right direction. I was able to check his temperature, change his diaper and hold his hand for a while. Late the evening and into early, early Friday morning he was maintaining normal levels. Needless to say we went to bed extremely happy that night!
More good news: I should have been released yesterday from the hospital but my dr said that technically with a c-section insurance will pay up to four days so that meant I could be discharged today instead. So I was discharged at 3pm but because the maternity floor had low attendance and empty rooms, they allowed us to stay as a courtesy. Basically we are here but not here. We are on our own for food, my medicine, etc. As long as the room is not needed, we can stay while he is in NICU. They think that we are good through Sunday and maybe possibly Monday. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for this. I prefer being down the hall much more than across town. Friday morning visit we learned he maintained normal levels all night. So we were waiting for his neonatelist specialist to get in and see what she wanted to do. Next thing we knew, she was in our room and giving us an update. They took the ventilator off because his breathing was fantastic and put the nasal thing in to continue oxygen for a bit and then will be taking the oxygen away with leaving only the air pressure for a while. They plan to continue to feed him thru the stomach line today and will be taking another line out of his belly button shortly that was used to draw blood so that he didn't have to be sticked so many times. Once that line comes out, we will be able to hold him. She anticipated that by 3:00 we should be able to hold him. Out came tears of joy and happiness!! I could not wait for 3:00 to get here. When it finally got here and they laid him in my arms I just cried and cried. It was the best feeling in the world. He immediately started turning his head towards me to start rooting. We got good giggles out of that. His feeding times are 9, 12, 3, and 6 so she put some breast milk into his stomach line and within minutes he was smiling and going to sleep. He loves to be swaddled and in mommy's arms. During feeding times I get to also check his temperature and change his diaper. We also introduced the pacifier to him and let me tell you he loves that thing. He never wants to take it out, lol! So needless to say I made every feeding time except for the 3am one. I was convinced that I needed to sleep between the 12 and 6 feeding times. It took some convincing but I finally agreed, lol. He also managed to go all day without oxygen and was only using the air pressure. I guess the pressure is used to remind the baby to breathe...basically it's just part of the weaning process.
Saturday morning, Colton continued to stay off the oxygen all night and maintain good levels. So they took the nasal thing off. They also took one of his iv's out since he no longer needs any meds. He still has an iv in his foot for the fluids they are using to offset the milk amount he is getting. Today we started bottle feeding. They said it may take some time for him to catch on since he didn't get to develop those instincts right after birth. He is doing pretty good with it. He is getting a small amount for now but is able to get is all down with some coaxing. Him loving the pacifier is helping him get it down faster. Tomorrow the milk portions increase which means the iv fluid reduces. And we also have our first breast feeding attempt tomorrow at 3. We gave him a bath and that was fun for me...not so much for him. But after we had him swaddled he was a happy camper. So basically at this point all we are waiting on is the jaundice to away and him eating good. They seem to think about one more day under the jaundice lights and the eating....well that is up to Colton. They will then release him and we spend an overnight here in a room together then go home. We are getting very, very close!!!!
Colton has had many people praying for him. All I can say is thank you! Thank you so much for praying for our little guy. Those prayers cannot be thanked enough. Colton felt the love because he recovered much faster than we all anticipated. Fellowship Church has also been a huge help and pray group for us. My greeter team has been praying like crazy and we have had a few visitors from the pastor group come here to pray with us in our room.
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